can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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