How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
