Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
