I want to have your abortion
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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