So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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