i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I think a kid would responsible me up
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
