Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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