Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i permit you to call me
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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