don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
