he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I deserve this hangover.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
