I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
