...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
