My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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