But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
