I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
