Me. At least after what I've been through.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
