How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
