Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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