I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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