We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
