PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
