I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
