i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
