His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
