I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
