Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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