he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
