I look better un-naked...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I need to calm my uterus...
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
