Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
