Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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