I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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