how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
