Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
