She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
