I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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