i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
