Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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