Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
