i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
