Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
