you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
