Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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