And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I cut my penus on the lid.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
