non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
she pinky promised me she was 18
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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