I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
