Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
