hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
