i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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