I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
