The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
